My name is Nicholas, at this time, I am 21 years of age, having only turned a month and a half ago. I survived myself, and I was able to fight myself and save my own life, through martial arts.
I never grew up with martial arts, besides getting to a Taekwondo Green belt with a blue tip over an 18 month span. Plus watching Manny Pacquiao v Floyd Mayweather on TV with Dad. Needless to say, I had never been a fighter in any capacity. I spent a lot of my life moving around, and I have always found ease, adapting to new environments here and there. However a year into moving to Melbourne, Australia, COVID would hit. I’d somehow, and unnaturally so, come out of the multiple lockdowns with my mental health seemingly intact. The very next year, the pressures of life, university, friendships, etc, combined with the general lack of self-care, physically and mentally. Would all push me into a mental health downward spiral. A spiral so bad, I didn’t know or think I’d ever climb out of this hole I’d fallen so far into. Soon the thoughts of a hopeless situation, would devolve into worse. My own mind told me that the world might be better off without me, or that leaving this world would be the best option for me. Needless to say, I was in a pretty bad spot, mentally. An attempt of a change in friendships, and attitudes helped, but nowhere near enough. I still felt hopeless, unwanted, and wanting to find a quick and easy way out.
One very random fine day, I watched a bunch of clips, from ONE Championship. Of their Muay Thai athletes respecting each other, kneeling and embracing each other, after violent and bloody bouts. Something about these clips made me see that fighting, and fighters, aren’t all violence and hatred, as I’d somehow always thought. I’d heard about Muay Thai before, one of the world’s most brutal combat sports, effective in sport, and according to people online (Yes, I know), good for self-defense. From there, I looked into martial arts again, and soon found an opportunity to try out kickboxing. I got injured very quickly, a little slip in my 3rd session causing me a sprained ankle that left me in recovery for a month. But in that recovery period, I started watching more and more Mixed Martial Arts: ONE, UFC, Dream, Pride, K-1, Glory, etc. I didn’t even realize that a musician I’d found amusement in watching their videos (Genki Sudo), had been famous in early MMA for his showman-style of fighting. My love for martial arts only blossomed and bloomed from here. It was a strange thing to me, a sport of intense violence and brutality. Yet a sport of love, respect, humility. This is what fighting is. I’d never grown up a fighter, I always let things happen, never stood up for myself. Always cowered down when confronted, by people or adversity. But martial arts gave me a reason to want to keep fighting and to do better, in something. I kept training, in or outside of sessions, in my own time, at my own pace. I don’t train for competition or showing off, I train because I feel like it, because I want to get better at it. A little over a year in, my love for martial arts has enabled me to do so much with my life in the last year. Martial arts has helped me, mentally, and physically. It has helped in building my discipline, my emotional intelligence and my strength. It has enabled me to begin recovering, and healing. From hate of myself, of other people. From sadness, confusion, nervousness, everything that was overwhelming me even at my lowest point. Martial arts saved my life, yet somehow not in a way that it would save most peoples’ lives.
I heard and read about FIGHTSTORY. I remember having heard about Victoria Lee around the same time I had first learned of ONE. She was only a year younger than me, and it struck very close to home. To see what the FIGHTSTORY project is about. To see its community of supporting and loving fellow martial artists who are all on their own recovery and healing journeys, it’s inspired me to lend my heart and support to such a cause. Am I a good technical martial artist? Nope, not at all, learn kickboxing for 2 days and you’d probably easily beat me in a spar! But I know that I am now a fighter, but I fight in my own way, on my own grounds, and I keep fighting, so I can help myself and one day, others too. I know it’s possible, because I have already fought myself out of a hole I once thought I’d never climb out of. I still fight everyday. Some days are harder than others, and that is perfectly normal. Not every fight is easy, not every fight goes your way. But if you choose to keep fighting, whether you’ve been knocked down or you’re still standing, you are on the right path. As the cliche saying goes: If I can do it, you can.
